I thought that I managed to avoid any baby blues, postpartum depression, or whatever other psychosis I can blame my actions on. I found myself this time last week...UNEMPLOYED! Why you ask? Well, I thought that maybe just maybe...I didn't want to work anymore (not until Joaquin was bigger and I received my Master's degree). So, what did I do last month, but RESIGN FROM MY JOB! Growing worry and concern over mounting child care expenses, guilt from leaving my son at a daycare that I found inadequate, leaving my son at daycare period, etc-etc. A week after which, I woke up and realized that I made a "doozy" of a mistake. Anyways, long story short...I have rescinded my resignation and have re-evaluated what it means to be a working mom.
I like myself as a working mom, more so than being a stay at home mom. Kudos to those moms that are able to stay at home. It's not for me, not now anyways. Perhaps, if my circumstances were different. So what is the worry here? Quantity versus quality of time spent with my son. I've heard others talk about the struggle between the balancing act of motherhood, and keeping a career going. It's hard to juggle these two tasks. However, so many working moms have expressed to me that it is key that when you are a parent that has to work, the quality of time you spend with your child or children is extremely significant. I'm putting this in writing, because I forgot the feeling I experienced right before I went back to work after 2 months maternity leave. I remember that I began to feel insignificant, and not much use to myself or my son. I know now that I can do both...mommy and worker. It can be done, and I will come through it better this time around. Fingers crossed.
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